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"If you suddenly start trotting out all your old Victoria's Secret underwear -- or buy some sexy new clothes -- well, that's only going to put more pressure on him, and it's not going to help the ED one bit," says Foley.

Mc Cullough adds, "If you put it in the context of a physical problem and not a sexual one, most men will be less likely to 'shut down' or shut you out." While some men would rather go the treatment route alone, others might welcome the support of their partner, so be certain to make the offer to go with him, and then let your man decide.

Mc Cullough agrees: "You don't want to forget about what's going on, or pretend it doesn't matter, but turning into a nymphomaniac isn't the answer either." So what should a woman do when her man just can't perform? Once you're past that hurdle, experts say do acknowledge the problem exists and open the lines of communication about it.

Experts seem to agree that most important is to remember it's not your problem and you're not the cause. "The best thing to do is to discuss things outside of the bedroom -- not right after it happens, but days or even weeks later," says sex expert Jennifer Downey, MD, a psychiatrist at New York State Psychiatric Institute and a professor at Columbia University.

ED: Make It a Time for Sexual Experimentation Depending on the cause of a man's ED, treatment can be quick, like Viagra, or take longer, like getting high blood pressure under control.

It may even take a while to convince him to see a doctor at all.

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